After attending Eroticon the lovely Tabitha Rayne, an author and designer of the RubyGlow sex toy created this fun “challenge”. Now this was not meant to pressure anyone to stick to a strict 3pm orgasm, but instead remind everyone to take a moment for themselves. I know about 2-3 years ago my New Years Resolution was actually to masturbate more, so this kind of had a nostalgic effect on me.
What does this “challenge” mean to me?
In the early stages of my #OrgasmFun I remember going into my room after my roommate left and laying on my bed in hope some spark would strike my vulva and give me this crazy desire. People often find it incredibly hard to believe that in every spare moment of my life I’m not masturbating or doing something more interesting sexually. Personally, a lot of my desire is found within whoever I am sleeping with at the time so when I am around them I am insatiable and have been known to drive a partners fucking crazy with my demands. So this challenge out in perspective my needs, and my low desire to really fuck myself.
The first few days were fun, my SONA Cruise got delivered and my roommate was traveling so I could masturbate anywhere I wanted and at any time. I also had a partner for all of two days which was absolutely wonderful because since moving to Spain my sexual conquest have reached dismal numbers…….0. However, the down side to that was less than a full week into the month and HE GOT ME SOO SICK! I wont lie, the first day I definitely had sex for an hour, played with my buttplug, and so on with a 103° fever, but I’m chalking that up to a fluke.
Once I had my health back I had to return to work because Easter was over. Work was another factor I did not have to face the first week and a half of this challenge due to Semana Santa aka Easter. Then I feel I began to align my masturbation as an award for going to the gym, but the problem was I had stopped going…This was a tough one for me, and as a result I learned a lot about myself.
What I learned?
I learned that I definitely can not compare myself to other people’s experiences which seems simple but I life a different lifestyle here than I did in America so it even comes down to comparing my own past selves. I began relying more on porn and other stimulants but beyond that I started to focus on the feeling. You would think that’s the point of masturbation but more often than not I strive for this “quick” but not so quick orgasm. Leading to a lot of edging and tons of frustration when the big moment falls short.
I began to shape my desire around meditation, I remembered at the first Sexual Health Expo, now renamed SEX Expo, the Sybian speaker talked about mental orgasms and the importance of breath. With that speech in addition to my Chakrub Yoni Egg I really took notice to what slow breathing could do to a session. I would begging by coming into my room, put some socks on, and just lay there with my vulva to the sky. I do not have much mental imagery so it’s hard to lay there and just imagine a past experience of fantasize. I just began to focus on my breathing, slowly I could feel myself getting aroused, so I began stimulating other parts of myself to try to take the pressure off, giving the illusion I’m exploring with someone. This seemed to really do the trick!
Odds and Ends
Basically, this experience was more of a mental journey for me than real physical strides. Originally I had these high hopes that I would be so much more orgasmic and even begin masturbating without a toy. Another surprise, I have only given myself two manual, without toy orgasms. Historically, I never explored that part of myself until I was introduced to Jopen Vanity 4.5, in my teen years I did not have a bed or a bedroom so I did not have any kind of privacy but beyond that I never recall having the desire to masturbate. I would just get really turned on and go on with my life, or with hope an ex could satisfy my needs. However, all my exploration was with another person, even my first experience with my vagina I remember being 15 with my 17 year old boyfriend, we googled “Vaginal Anatomy” and I spread out next to the computer screen where we figured everything else together. Toys were really a major tool in figuring myself out, and I do not think that’s wrong. Though no one has explicitly said to me that it is weird to never masturbate or always use toys, I ALWAYS felt broken.
With age I am learning that I am not, but when I read these fabulous ideas for personal stimulation there is always a part of me that feels less than compared to others involved. What this 30 day orgasm “fun” challenge did for me was really allow me to think introspectively about my life, and what it has taken me to build to where I am. Kind of taking down these mental blocks I never really realized were there. I definitely would suggest this kind of mental/physical journey to anyone. I know this is not a gushing story about orgasm after orgasm but this is my truth, and my struggle. Do not get me wrong, there were definitely glorious moments where I just gave myself orgasm after orgasm every couple of hours. I was explore to explore different levels of stimulation with products like Queen Bee or Satisfyer G Rabbit, but overall I think being a tester it tarnishes your mind on some level because you never really stop taking notes about your products.
This experience was truly provoking in many different ways, for any person who does not take that time to really explore themselves on any plane this may be a great “challenge” for you. I recommend always exploring but not just with tools, but with yourself on my most basic level,, but if you need a toy or a raunchy gangbang porn never feel less than for it. You are not broken or some how missing out, you are learning at your pace as it’s presented to you, only dive as deep as you wish. I encourage all kinds of explorations that’s done safely, and safely includes your mindset.